We Have to Talk: Breaking our Silence
Don't call it a comeback
Welcome to We Have to Talk, a fortnightly newsletter in which Sam and George exchange their most pressing and ridiculous reflections on pop culture. Subscribe to get a hot mess of tepid takes directly into your inbox, twice a month.
This week, some nonsense from Sky Ferreira and Club Chalamet drags the boys out of retirement.
G: Surprise, surprise, bitch! After a hiatus during which I got stuck in New Zealand, Sam tried to get stuck in Thailand and Emma Stone stole another Oscar, ‘We Have to Talk’ is finally back. How has the world of pop culture continued without us, you ask? Probably fine, though it seems Sky Ferreira might still need our help. What have you been up to, Sam?
S: George! It feels good to be back and breaking our unplanned, months-long vow of silence. After this newsletter became a victim of the great Christmas-time productivity crunch, I never thought it would take us almost an entire third of the interminable Challengers rollout to set the substack back on its legs. And yet here we are, in April, back on the same continent, and raring to restake our claim to being the real Renata Adlers of looking at our phones a lot.
And yet somehow I’ve still spent the sabbatical counting to martial my lifeforce towards content production like an influencer-parent in training. I’ve been working on some exciting scriptwriting projects, getting a journal article out, following the Club Chalamet path to wealth, and curating what is sure to be a colossal and colossally irritating set of grid posts from Thailand. But I’ve mostly been biding my time, sharpening my takes, and preparing to bring our beloved readers more of the same. Do you want to bring the readers up to speed on the moves you’ve been making before we hit the ground running with a full edition in two weeks time?
G: Club Chalamet will be examined as symptomatic of our baffling times in years to come, I’m sure. I continue to look down on parasocial relationships despite being in one with both Ryan Beatty (romantically) and Meera Sodha (gastronomically). Biggest update from me is that I recharged my tan with two months in New Zealand, where I got stuck in a Kafkaesque nightmare of visa applications because the Home Office is the closest thing the Tories have to a sense of humour.
Being home was lovely - it was midsummer, and I was so grateful to be unemployed - but I was also struck by how empty New Zealand currently feels; the end of the world, reader, is lush, green, full of clean air and devoid of vibes. Against the best interests of my lungs, I was pleased to return to London, where most of my friends live, but I have not been pleased to return to the world of healthcare communications, the career sidestep I’ve been forced to take to keep me on this godforsaken island. No matter; I have Cannes next month to look forward to, piano to practice, and a vaping addiction to restart. Until then, Sam and I shall re-immerse ourselves in the world of pop culture, and serve you season two, episode one of We Have to Talk in two week’s time.
S: Hands off Beatty. But yes, see you then!
From the Drafts:
Homophobia alive and kicking in Hollywood: in Challengers, Zendaya asks Josh O’Connor to blow his cigarette smoke in the other direction. After May December, that’s the second time in recent cinema that a manipulative woman has tried to spoil a queer man’s fun. I won’t stand for this! (G)
Between Priscilla and Civil War, it’s been a banner year for Cailee Spaeny’s watching things unfold around her. (SJ).
Aubergines and tomatoes: talk about two queens coming together to maximise their joint slay. (G)
I recently read Project Hail Mary, by the guy who wrote The Martian, and while enjoyable, it had a whiff of incel about it. The author looks like Steve Jobs, but his protagonist wakes from cryogenic sleep and immediately looks down at his “rippling abs”. See also: Matt Damon being the most jacked botanist of all time in The Martian film. (G)
The Week that Was:
George is watching: Girls, which has taken me about a year to complete my rewatch of, mainly because the final season becomes weirdly difficult to get through (and maybe I don’t want it to end). Also Mary and George, which starts off sexy and gay but unfortunately fades into a rote history lesson by episode four.
Sam is reading: ‘Wasted Lives: Modernity and its Outcasts’ by Zygmunt Bauman. Deeply insightful on modernity as an imperative to the endless production of waste – whether human or material.
George is listening to: Chappell Roan, which I will continue to mention around Sam until he’s converted. ((S) - I was there for Marina and the Diamonds’ first two eras, I have no need to experience them again!)
Sam went and saw: The ENO’s Carmen at Sadlers Wells, which started off jaw-droppingly well but made an unnecessary detour into Mathew Bournville in the second half.
We Have to Talk returns in full later this month.
been waiting for the return! so happy you’re back
finally the return